I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Panties = found
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
