Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
