Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
