Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
