My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
