I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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