operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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