OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
