i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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