Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
