he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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