This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
