omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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