Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
