she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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