Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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