I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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