Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
