i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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