Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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