its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
