Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
