then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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