Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
