I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
