All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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