so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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