I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
