The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
