mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
