Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
