some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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