So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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