She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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