Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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