Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
