you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize