You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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