Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
