Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
