We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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