im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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