so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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