if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
