i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The ass gains better be worth it
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