I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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