i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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