i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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