Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
