i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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