Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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