You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
